She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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