So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
