Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
