4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
