Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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