Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
