I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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