question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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