i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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