He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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