we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
