I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
