i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
