Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
