Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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