Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
