Will you blow on my dice?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We have started to decorate penises.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
