Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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