You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
