Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
