HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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