What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
