I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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