Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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