What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
