Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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