Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
