We're like a lot better than the average bears
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
