Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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