You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
