You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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