i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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