My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
