Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
