Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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