the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
