dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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