But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
