I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
