quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
