My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
