don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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