So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
