If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
