bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Farmville is her only friend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
