It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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