Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
should my penis look like a turkey
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
