i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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