brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
