capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
